Sometimes, they are the subtlest undertones unsuspectingly lacing humorous remarks. Some other times, they are the elephant in the room that you cannot just ignore. They seem to take different forms in different settings. However, one thing is sure. Takes on nativity and behaviour have raved for a while. They are everywhere. Opinionated elders and malleable youths spread the gospel like frenzied clergymen. People gobble them up and then spew them out at the slightest convenience in casual conversations and even at major formal gatherings.
About a year ago, during a certain four-week clinical ward rotation, my coursemates and I met a particular lecturer for the first time. He wanted to get to know us and so we had to take turns to introduce ourselves and mention our hometowns to him. It got to my turn and I did the needful as the others had done. But, what happened next was unexpected. He passed a comment – something he did not do for the others.
“People from your hometown are either miserly or polyamorous and wasteful. There are no in-betweens”.
The whole class burst into laughter. A chortle escaped from my lips as well.
He was wrong though. I’m neither of those things.
Later, I found out we hail from the same state. Also, that he had a conflict of sorts with someone from my hometown.
But, it got me thinking – how much experience did he have with my people to arrive at such an opinionated deduction? Or, was it something hammered into him in his formative years?
Labels and stereotypes are ingrained into our subconscious every day. And the results are apparent. They drive our relationships with people, our expectations of them, and even long-term commitments. I have heard people say things like ‘Anyone from XY state is a no-go area for me, no matter how ideal of a partner they might be’ or ‘he is from AB town, what do you expect from people like them? They are snakes’.
I have some of mine too, but I’ve been very intentional about decluttering over the years. Why?
The downsides are obvious. You miss a chance to connect with people and relish the value they have to give. You miss the chance to see them bloom in unexpected ways and make resounding unconventional moves that leave the best marks on your life. It is like stopping by to admire an enthralling work of art and moving on without appreciating the aesthetic that comes with an unbiased point of view – because of where it was sited.
However, is that to say that the takes on people being conditioned one way because of their nativity are invalid?
Not necessarily.
People are products of influence, and hailing from a place would, under normal circumstance, play some part in shaping a person’s character. But, it would only be a MAJOR determinant if all the townsfolk had similar character traits and there were no other inspirations to cull behavioral traits from. This take could have been truer a good number of years ago when populations were smaller, things were cruder, and intermingling rarer.
Besides, people are as unique as they come.
Genes may have their roles, but influence is a domineering force in determining human behavior. We live in a time where influence is not even mostly by family members, not to talk of townsfolk. So, this take on nativity and its link to stereotyped behavior among a particular group of people is even less relevant. People are influenced by far more concepts and institutions, many of them virtual.
Like the most remote cultures on the other end of the world, thanks to technology.
The advent of Western education has played its role too. The intermingling of different people during educational programs, the search for greener pastures, and even marriages, has scattered everyone all over the place.
Bottom-line? If you still harbor some of these takes and champion them remorselessly, you should have a rethink. You could be over-generalizing or worse, projecting.
There is so much more than nativity to worry about when dealing with people in this era.
Trust me.
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