Trauma to Love: Healing from the Scars of Verbal Abuse

“Ori e o pe, I wo obirin oshi yi”. were the words that woke Angel from her afternoon nap, and just as she thought, daddy was referring to her mother. It was another session of his verbal abuse.

She grew up to the awareness of her father’s verbal abuse towards her mother. One would think she should be used to it now that she’s twenty but it still triggered something on her inside. Something like an hatred

Last Sunday, the pastor had preached that the man is the Head of the home. But does being the head of the home mean that he gets to verbally and emotionally abuse her? How could the man who was to lead their family treat her mother like that?

The other day he embarrassed her when they went to drop Catherine off in school. He had asked mother’s opinion on a matter he and Catherine’s principal were discussing but because she wasn’t paying attention she couldn’t contribute much. He said was that he wasn’t surprised because he knew that she knew nothing. Right in the presence of the principal. Angel saw how her countenance had changed and how she had quickly wiped a tear drop from her eyes. Yet she still smiled and bent her knees to greet the people as she passed on their way back to where father had packed their Toyota Camry. 

Angel had seen these growing up and all these had made her angry against all forms of injustice against women. Her best friend had always told her that her activism against women’ injustice was always too extreme but she wasn’t having any of it. She was going all out.


Angel had gone to relax at the restaurant across her street. She does this once in a while whenever she gets fatigued from staying indoors for a long time. She would always order a snack and a bottle of water and plug her ears while doing some work on her laptop. One afternoon, some guy came over to her table;

”Hi pretty”

-”Im not pretty”

”Feisty huh? Anyway, I’m Adeniyi.”


“It’s not a coincidence that both our names start with an A.” Adeniyi said while grinning and hoping to win her favour but Angel rolled her eyes and continued with her business 

”Can I sit here with you”

-”If you want”

Adeniyi went ahead to sit and engaged her for 10 minutes. He held up the conversation and somehow he got her number before he left.

Hard girl aside, Angel thought Adeniyi was a good-looking guy. He was brown in complexion with an average guy’s height. Thankfully, unlike most men she had encountered, Adeniyi’s conduct didn’t put her off at first contact. 

They got talking and slowly, Adeniyi’s softness and kindness toward her made her begin to see men in a new light. He patiently nurtured her till she healed from her trauma and she stopped seeing men through the lens of her father’s actions towards her mother.

They married.

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