Shalewa was a slay queen, but the Friday night we met, she wore a skirt long enough to cover her knees. Yet, she was stunning. We met at the monthly gathering of Book Hub readers; I was a new member. When the Book Hub meeting ended, I walked up to her.
“Hey, I am Oba, but you can call me Kábíyèsí.”
She smiled. Her dimples popped out of her skin, making her smile more radiant.
“Oh, Kábíyèsí? Well, I am Olori,” Shalewa said with a light bend of her head, akin to showing respect with a little flirty tone. I smiled and took the chair next to her.
“What do you think of the book, Americanah?”
“I think Obinze is really cute,” she said with playful defiance. Squeezing her review of over five hundred pages into a sentence as vague as this. I was definitely intrigued.
“What about you,” she followed up. “All in all, what do you think?”
I scooted the chair closer to her, ignoring her question. I asked if she had a boyfriend because I would love to show my friends what a beautiful girl should look like. She was hesitant but said yes. The name that followed was yours, Ade. I never really fancied names like Ade. I mean, Ade, what? Also, that ridiculous skit maker always comes to mind.
But the thing is, Tofunmi had a boyfriend too. They had dated for 1 year, 11 months. Then she met me, and she and Dayo never got to do their second anniversary. You see, there’s something about Yoruba demons they don’t often tell you, Ade. We are good at getting what we want. When a girl is dating, it is just one guy, and that’s all the competition. I just had to beat you, and considering how fast that happened—
“Alas, I go home without my Book Hub queen,” I feigned disappointment. She laughed.
“Can I at least get your number?”
She typed her number, smiling and shaking her head. It was almost like she couldn’t believe this was happening.
After I Got Her Number
I texted immediately after I got home. I didn’t need silly tricks to get a girl to like me. Two weeks since I sent Hey beautiful, have you gotten home yet? We have been texting nonstop. We texted late into the night and often called in the morning. She giggled a lot when we spoke. How easy it was to make your girl laugh? Where were you while I made her feel special?
“When I saw you at the gym today, I wanted to keep my eyes glued on you.”
“Fear Yoruba mennnn!!!”. She replied.
“Really. You were beautiful. How often does Ade tell you?”
“Sometimes”
“Then not enough.”
Before She Came Over
She didn’t reply to that message. I was left on read. It probably already felt like cheating. She didn’t talk to me again for a week, then she came later. I told her I had missed my queen. This time, she replied, “Really?” I said yes and asked where she had been, and she said you had taken her phone. I replied sorry. She asked if that was all I had to say, and I told her I didn’t want to interfere. Shalewa said it was alright, and we were back to our normal chatter—me telling her she was beautiful and her believing it.
The first time Shalewa, from Book Hub, came over, she had suggested it.
“What are you doing??😂”
“I am bored, so nothing.”
“Shey, I should come over?😗”
“Alakoba. Ade nko?”
“He is at Ay’s. Plus, I am coming to gist with you and maybe cook something.
“Thanks.”
We didn’t just gist when she came over. I had bought her a banquet of flowers and a bottle of wine. She had told me she loved to drink. That evening, she drank. We talked about books. Her favourite was Mistborn. She loved how the author wrote a strong feminine character. I agreed with her.
She is smart. Ade, you had this lady and didn’t spoil her dirty. I guessed she always needed someone who was up for the job.
We talked late into the night. Often, we would pillow fight. I always let her win. That way, she was always on top of me. I asked if she would stay over since it was already dark outside, and then her phone chimed. Your text popped up: “Where are you?” She hurried away without even saying goodbye.
How I Took Her From You
There was no doubt that Shalewa had started to like me, because she started to call often, and she always sends Sunday jpegs. It was the usual trend; it happened with Tofunmi too. The Sunday jpegs are the green lights. Then she stopped sending Sunday jpegs. She started to take her pictures using her bathroom mirror.
Often, she left the caption, “Have you seen a pretty face this morning?” Her reflections were usually clad with a blouse that barely hung on her shoulders. I would reply, “You weren’t fast enough; I already looked in the mirror.” She would pretend to fume, saying Yoruba men are proud people. She was right; we are. But you weren’t, Ade. You gave her all the attention.
Yesterday was when we had our first kiss. It has been just 36 days since I first met her. I have to admit it took longer than I would have liked. We kissed when she came over again. I was shirtless, and I saw her stare. She instigated a play fight. I followed. I turned her around. Her back against my forward-facing body. She was looking up at me, trying to control her breath.
I leaned down to talk in her left ear. “You smell edible” That phrase broke her. She spunned and kissed me. She was so fast, like she didn’t want the feeling of regrets to catch up. I did what any sane man would do. Ade, what would you have done? I kissed her back. But what we started didn’t end till we got to the bedroom. There, she said my name differently. Ka-bi-ye-si—taking short pauses after every syllable.
So You Left Her
This morning, she sent me a message.
“Good morning🥲”
“I told him. We’ve broken up.”
I left her on read and didn’t reply. Several other messages followed, but I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend. Plus, why date someone who could cheat? After all, I don’t need a justifiable reason for what I did. I looked up from my phone and, at the same time, turned towards the lady who was sitting next to me.
“Hey, my name is Oba, but you can call me Kábíyèsí.”
After all, who was going to stop me?
😂😂🤲