My Opinion on Having or Not Having Children

Modernity pretty much agrees and preaches that having children is one of the most eventful and delightful moves anyone can make.

Couples who don’t, for whatsoever reasons, plan to have children are automatically viewed with pity and are assumed to have been deprived of the chance to experience the profound joy and glee that comes with children.

One can choose not to have children and be entirely content with one’s choice, yet such person is seen as disturbed and treated with pointless disgust and odium.

The fundamental Dynamics of whether or not to have children in many ways, are patterned the same way we review and criticize a range of so called great emotional choices in life. Choices like whether or not to get married, whether or not to stay faithful, whether or not to stick to logic or listen to the calls of the heart are incredibly nuanced and “the right choice” interestingly varies from one human to another.

We adopt this very strong desire to always make the right choice, a yearning which is accompanied by a subtly illogical utopian belief that once this choice has been made, we are going to flourish and find complete happiness in it.

But the reality of course, is in many ways, different , much darker but also more interesting. The idea of a “cost-free choice” does not exist. Making a good choice in this context is simply choosing the most suitable in a variety of what I term “sufferings”.

There are miseries or sufferings that come with having children. The frequent disappointments, the guilt, the lost opportunities, the pricking idea that you’re constantly making someone miserable by your actions and many more.

There are also miseries that come with not having children. Society’s constant reminder, the loneliness and boredom, and many more.

Our only and sole source of consolation is the bitter truth that there are not painless options. Whether we choose to or not to have children, there is probably a whole load of unhappiness and regrets waiting for you. There is perhaps, comfort to be found in the premise of the inevitability of sufferings. After all, it is never the darkness that consumes us but the false hope that everything is going to be alright with whatever choice we make.

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