There is a fundamental difference between people who are easy to deal with and those who are consistently tricky or difficult to deal with. We get reminded of this anytime we encounter them. It’s not so much that straightforward individuals always have good intentions or attitudes that aren’t troublesome. Instead, it’s that we usually know what their problems are right away and they refrain from complexity.
As a result, there is no extra need to infer, decode, unravel, scramble, or translate. There are no unexpected twists or radical changes in their perspectives. These direct people will gently and promptly explain that they actually don’t want to do anything if asked. They won’t smile pleasantly and build up deadly reservoirs of jealousy or resentment in their brains if they don’t like how we act. Suppose they are concerned that a project could progress better; they will instantly express their frustration politely but honestly.
They won’t keep up the pretence that everything is well until a disaster becomes irrefutable. In bed, they may wish to impress, but they may also be open and unafraid to express what truly makes them happy. If attracted to someone, they will find charming, gentle, and modest methods to express their affection.
The issue with sophisticated individuals is that they are highly unclear about the genuineness of their desires. This prevents them from expressing their true feelings and wants to others. They could seem to concur with all of our points, but it only becomes apparent much later that they had a number of objections to what we said. When you find out they are craving a piece of cake, they will ask you if you’d like another one.
They’ll say they want to go out to dinner with you, but they’ve been wishing for an early bedtime. While secretly sobbing, they will appear glad to be around you. When they desire an apology from you, they will apologize. They feel underappreciated yet never express themselves or voice a grievance.
Despite their want to communicate, they remain silent. The only overt sign of their attraction to someone can be a few snarky remarks, which leave the target of their emotions confused or disappointed. Instead of following what genuinely interests them, they conform to what they believe to be typical.
What might account for such perplexing complexity? The underlying issue is poignant. It does not originate from malice or an innate tendency to manipulate. But out of fear—fear of the reactions of the audience or the exposure of one’s genuine motives.
As always, this pattern of conduct is most likely to have its roots in infancy. When a youngster perceives from their parents that there is no tolerance for honesty, they grow up infused with complexity and are often dishonest. One can see a youngster whose requests for an extra biscuit, a romp around the yard, homework assistance, or an opportunity to avoid seeing Granny would have most likely been met with annoyance or outright rage.
This child wouldn’t be able to predict when their parents would become irate or lose their cool. So, Why would this said person grow up to express their feelings or desires in plain language if the outcome was a loved but elderly adult crying aloud or complaining?
They develop into someone who prefers to imply rather than state things. People like this always employ multiple opinions, and gives up trying to say anything that people might not want to hear. They turn into someone who lacks the courage to express their convictions. It’s almost impossible for them to even slightly risky attempt to win someone else’s affection.
Thankfully, none of us is destined to remain bound by chains of complexity for the rest of time. By being aware of and interested in the causes of our ingrained obfuscation and unwilling trickery, we can untie ourselves.
We might first observe how little of our reality was first deemed acceptable by those who created the world we live in. At the same time while doing that, we may remind ourselves that things have changed. The threats that gave rise to encrypted communication are no longer present. No longer will anyone yell at us or react angrily as they formerly did. Or, if they do, since we have an option, we may leave as a last but essential resort.
We can dare to own up to more of who we really are by using the liberties that come with age. Additionally, we can see that despite what we would have thought, people are not always what we think they are. People want genuineness, so you can be comfortable with simplicity and plainness. A simple life is an happy one Afterall!
What do you think? Simplicity or complexity? Plainness or Sophistication? Drop your comments below!
If you enjoyed reading this, check our blog for other love and relationship pieces to savour.