Is there really an end to being friend-zoned?

As young adults, the quest for requited love must come by as we seek to be loved by others but most often than not, we find ourselves in the friend zone. We crave that satisfaction from having a partner that shifts the bar on our relationship status to “in a relationship.” Sadly, the world isn’t fair. You won’t always get what you want. And with regards to love, it is no new tale.

Growing up, I had this fancy idea of what love would be and how to get it. It was one of those beautiful moments when you start having fantasies, planning friendship as a route to love. You would walk around and have your head stocked up with thoughts of you and the other walking down the aisle. What a sad realization it is to wake up to the reality of being single and alone. Most people drag this fantasy way into adulthood. We carry the opinion that “being her friend” is the shortcut to becoming loved by her. How so? She has other friends too so makes your scheme different?

How to leave the friend zone

Last week, at a meeting, my friends and I were confronted by a young, amusing man with a rather interesting question, “How to leave the friend zone.” Firstly, I found myself shoulders high that he regarded me as someone with vast experience in things like this. But after our shocked yet laughter-filled state that the question had caused, we eventually took it seriously. And my friends were helpful as they were stern, “if you had to ask the question, there is no leaving for you. Or rather, if you are graced with a cosmic involvement, maybe there is a chance.”

They couldn’t place the truth more clearly than that. It was true. If he had to ask, maybe he shouldn’t go on with it. I thought we had evolved past the friend zone question era. Or is there a pop culture out there still lying to our youths?

“Love is not a weed that just grows anywhere it pleases,” and sincerely, love is less about your effort and more about who you are. You know when someone likes you, and if they did, why would they put you in the friend zone? We know how treacherous that prison is. The “bro” and “boss” replies that break the heart when you finally think you are getting somewhere. Like the young man that confronted us with the question and many others like him, pick the fast “death” option: ask them if they like you, ask if there is even the slightest possibility they would and make your decision from there.

Lovers/ friend zone


Why wait 3 years when someone can slide in and make her/him swoon in the first week? We can’t help it. Only a few cases stand out, but the graph you drew when you were younger – the friends to close friends to best friends to boyfriends/girlfriends, throw it out the window; your time is precious. There is someone out there that would rather have you now than let you wait. Trust me, there isn’t just one of them. They are in their numbers.

Love is more of a game of luck than of effort. It won’t happen if you had to invest in friendship to get it. If the friendship was the goal and the romantic relationship comes into the equation somehow, good but don’t use it as a means. From a man who knows all the blocks used to make the friendzone pit, you should listen to me. Don’t ask them out. Move on. If they saw you that way earlier, they will come at you. ]

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