If You Don’t Want Breakfast, Don’t Cook —Heartbreak

He is cooking.

On February 14th…It was almost like MediVoice asked me to write opinions as a means to spite me.

“Yeah, Jide is pretty single. He won’t have anything to do on the 14th. Give the task to him.” 

In your face—Who am I kidding? I mean, they are right. With that in mind, I intend to spite those who had a nice time. I mean, I know it is petty, puerile if I am being sincere, but well, I am not so grown up either. 

Just kidding! Happy Valentine, Humans. Harmonising with the season, let’s talk about heartbreak. Because let’s be sincere, many heartbreaks will ensue after Valentine’s. I mean, it is tradition. It has always been.

I had always thought heartbreaks pretentious. Why would you cry because another human doesn’t want you any longer? ‘Till I got a taste of it. Truly, we can’t know how others feel till we step into their overly uncomfortable shoes. 

The thing about love is it comes with vulnerability. And vulnerability isn’t always a nice thing. Somehow, we can’t help it. We are just a bit weaker for this other half. If I want to give frank, genuine advice on how to walk around heartbreaks, don’t fall in love. Abstinence is, after all, the best solution. But humans don’t know how not to love and forget corruption or greed — love is our biggest flaw. 

Some might argue otherwise, but what do they know? They haven’t tasted unrequited love with a sip of tea for breakfast before. 

Unfortunately, since it is clear that love is inevitable, how do we brace ourselves for heartbreak? That will be to fall in love with the right person. 

Actually, on several WhatsApp statuses on Valentine’s, I saw a lot of “forevers.” My first advice would be to flee from anyone quick to toss forever around. They don’t often stick around that long. Sometimes I think they are dimwitted. I mean, forever is like the lifespan of God. How can someone love you for that long? Well, maybe I am just in pains, and they are trying to be romantic. I won’t date someone like that nitemi. So yes, fall in love with the right person.


Be the right person! For God’s sake, don’t be that person that thinks the world should revolve around them. Sometimes, we are what’s wrong with the world. Finding the right person is not enough if you are yet to right yourself. Flirting around and doing all sorts when you know who your partner is, is lusciously absurd. People often throw around trust as a backup argument, but why are you so threatened if there is really nothing to fault? Again, fix up before you enter a relationship. It takes two to tango. 

Prepare for it. It won’t hurt as much if it doesn’t catch you unprepared. The thing is, we know when breakfast is coming. You don’t cook, and it doesn’t scent out. When they don’t pick up your calls as they did before, or they are grumpy most times. No little, fun gestures… no romance… Don’t lie to yourself. Start to detach. You deserve more.  

All of the points above are how to prevent heartbreak, but what about if it has already happened? Cry your eyes out if you have to. I hear it is the best way to unsee all of the good, goofy stuff that made you fall in love in the first place. Also, keep your distance. Don’t be a fish and call or visit. They dumped you, don’t assume they didn’t know what they were doing. If they really want you, they will come around. Take your time to heal. Block them. I mean, why are you still viewing their status? You don’t like your mental health or what? 

Find something you love to keep your mind off of them. I hear Family Guy is a nice animated series. If you aren’t one for animations, you can watch peaky blinders. Don’t watch any romantic movies. 

Don’t get under anyone to get over anyone. Yes, yes, momentary satisfaction is something to take the thoughts away for a while. But it isn’t a solution. In fact, studies, according to me, and the several romcoms I have watched says that we often think more of our ex after getting under someone else. Treat yourself and keep your pride. 

Heartbreak is bad, awful, I mean, I don’t pray to be you, but you can only go up from here. Happy Valentine’s to all the couples out there. I mean, it must be nice. And to brothers and sisters like me, here is a passing note.  

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