Of the numerous challenges that life occasionally sends our way, there aren’t many as bothersome as making relationship choices. The intricacies and the sheer number of variables you have to weigh plunge you in a dilemma more times than often. There often seems to be no end to the intrusive thoughts – and the incessant questions.
Should I go ahead and ask this person out?
Is this person the right one for me?
“Are they who they appear to be?”
“Can I cope with this character flaw?”
“What if they change?”
“What will my friends say about their looks?”
You want to be sure about your relationship choices.
And that there is a survival trait – choosing carefulness over recklessness.
However, you also don’t want to be stuck in a box, considering and reconsidering while the clock ticks. What then to do? Here are some tips to overcome indecision or fear concerning relationships. Dig in!
Tips To Overcome Indecision
- Have deal breakers.
You have probably seen this in a few other places, but no matter how much, its importance stays the same. You must have set rules for the kind of person you’ll like to be in a relationship with. This is akin to setting goals for exams. Do you know how you decide you want a 90 in a course? You should have a list of characters you cannot condone. This streamlines your choices and keeps you sane in the long run. With exams, when your goal is a 90, you rarely fall below 70, except, well, the course get as e be. It’s the same with relationships. When we decide on what constitutes red flags for us early enough, it’s easier to be decisive when it comes to making relationship choices. And when worse comes to worst, you are likely to still be on the safe side.
- Do they feel the same? Don’t go about declaring feelings for someone who doesn’t feel you. You don’t want to be the victim of one-sided love, worse still, an object of ridicule in your head. Because your imagination will haunt you. So watch, watch out for what she says while it’s both of you. How does she respond to your chats? In minutes or after 5 working days? Does she even apologize when she responds late? Is responding late an everyday thing? What does she do when you are together – is she always distracted? It may not be a good sign to take things forward. Do their plans involve you both?
- Give it time.
I know all your friends have someone and you don’t want to be the odd one out, but time reveals all. Give yourself time to decide. I am not saying you should be deciding for one year, but take weeks to consider well. You don’t want trouble with your decision. Ask yourself salient questions. Are you ready for the commitment this demands or do you just want to feel among? Also, people are not always who they claim to be. So wait a bit before popping the question, just perhaps, they are not who you think they are.
Finally, fostering a relationship is hard work. Don’t go looking for what you cannot sustain.
If you would like to check out other relationship pieces, click here!