And In The Event That Love Breaks You…

…You take a step back, then you go again. With someone else.

unrequited /ʌnrɪˈkwʌɪtɪd/

Today, I have brought to you a topic so familiar you have likely lived its reality over and over in this one lifetime. I’m talking about unrequited love.

It is, to me, the opposite of true love. It is glorified, in books, and movies. It’s in the second lead character syndrome, the handsome one that’s always pining for the female protagonist that has no romantic feelings for him. It’s in you too, for that one person that has taken possession of your being, the one you think about all day and night but who doesn’t even spare a thought in your direction.

What is unrequited love?

On unrequited love; In the event that love breaks you.

It is a love that isn’t reciprocated and judging from the instances that have occurred, it is usually an all-consuming love, on the side of the lover, that is. The loved often has no idea or has turned the lover down once before. There is nothing wrong with unrequited love unless you pursue it frantically unless you hold on to hope against all odds that the one you love will one day reciprocate your feelings. Unless you hold onto the belief that you can love someone into loving you. You can’t.

It becomes a problem when, at some point, you start to glorify this feeling or start projecting it by force. It’s okay to love people wholeheartedly and you shouldn’t put up walls but you should guard your heart. Because a love that consumes you and isn’t reciprocated in the slightest can ruin you.

And what do you do when you find that you’re in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same?

You take a step back and take care of your heart.

Staying in close proximity to this person may fan the spark you have, turning it into a fire and dragging you further into the pits of these unreciprocated feelings. You may regret that. It is the equivalent of adding fuel to a fire while you claim that you are only trying to douse it. It is self-deceit and it will haunt you in due time.

So, take a step back.

Unrequited love can hurt like heartbreak, so take care of your heart. Keep your distance and get busy doing things that make you happy. Some day, you will be okay.

And in time, you will realize you are living without the one you thought you couldn’t live without. ~Miles Carter (If You Decide to Leave Someone)

And don’t get under someone to get over someone else. It’s some warped “nugget of wisdom” that holds anything but. You will only be hurting yourself and the person you’re using to try and get over your hurt.

What you need is time and, very often, distance. And if you find someone else you love along the way, you are one of the lucky ones.

Remember, there is a love out there for you, don’t hold on to the one that isn’t

To enjoy other posts like this, check out the Love and Relationships section on our blog.

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