So I know this guy who thought he did everything he could for his wife. But the wife was unhappy. And he couldn’t figure out why.
He would say “but look, I’m doing all these things for her”, but here was the reality, he never told her how much he loved her or how beautiful she was.
He deemed it unnecessary because he was doing other things like supporting the family and helping in house chores. This illustration is the equivalent of an English-speaking person, speaking English to a Chinese guy who speaks only Chinese and is surprised because to him, English is a global language and he expects everyone to understand it.
The whole premise here is that people speak different love languages. We all give and receive love in different ways.
The popular misconception is that the way we want to be loved is the same way others want to be loved as well, but this is not the case.
There are, in fact, five love languages, and if you want a well-built relationship, you have to know how you and your partner both give and receive love. The five are:
1. Words of Affirmation.
Do you like hearing I love you or compliment or reassuring words above all else? Do insults hurt, and are they detrimental to your relationship? If so, then this is probably your love language. If you discover that this is your partner’s love language, make sure you give them genuine compliments and tell them you appreciate them often.
2. Quality time
Do you value full and undivided attention above all else? One-on-one time with the TV off, the cell phone put away, and no distraction is what makes this kind of person feel loved the most. Canceled or postponed dates and failure to listen are especially hurtful to this type. If this is your partner’s love language, learn to pay attention better, and make eye contact more. Spend more time with them instead of being glued to the TV or cell phone. Ask them what they like to do with you and schedule a day to do it. Don’t assume you like the same things. Ask.
3. Acts of Service
Chores around the house or errands that ease the burden of responsibility are the loving characteristics of this language. This service can be as simple as taking out the trash, paying the bills, doing the dishes, picking up the kids from school and so on. Broken commitment and laziness can make this kind of person feel unloved.
4. Physical Touch
It doesn’t necessarily mean sex. If hugs, cuddling, holding hands, are the most important things to you, then this could be your love language. If their physical presence is crucial to you, then this could be an indicator as well. Neglect or abuse would destroy this type of person in a relationship.
5. Receiving Gifts
Surely we all like receiving gifts, but this type of person loves receiving gifts above all else. Gifts, to this type of person, mean everything because it shows the love, thought and effort that went into the present. I’m not talking about being materialistic, where the cost of an object is considered, but the thought behind it. Missed birthdays, anniversaries, and thoughtless gifts tear this kind of person apart. The price doesn’t matter. It’s the thought.
You should strongly identify with one (your primary love language). Sure, you may like others, but one of them should resonate with you the most.
I hope you enjoyed this. Till next time guys, byee✌️✌️😊😊
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