Love Poems From a Hater

It is a well established fact that I’m a romantic at heart. Well, maybe not well-established, but established somewhat, regardless. In actual fact, most times, romance makes me want to retreat into myself like a human rolypoly. But at the end of the day, a human must love something, or someone. Without love, life loses its meaning. In the spirit of Valentine, I decided to check my archives for any poems related to love. And listen, I’m no Olode of the Heart when it comes to love poems. But here are six “love poems” I’ve written over the years.

1. The disgusting love poem

There lived two germ lovers
On top of two nasty noses
Who only met when
their owners smushed faces

And would each minute
Wish for another kiss.
Where they tearfully reunited
In perfect blissful bliss

But their love didn’t last because
By the Lord’s special grace
the two loving lovers
Both washed their filthy face.

2. The romantic love poem

Two flowers waved at each other shyly.
Neither could stalk the other.
As they were each stuck to a single stalk

Their petals enclosed budding love
As they caught glances of each other
In the bright morning sun
And soon their petals unfolded.
Exposing the vibrant colors of love.

The two sent sweet pollen messages
Through Hermes the butterfly.
Until one final message finally bore fruit

And now the flowers were done with their purpose.
And undressed from their petals one by one.
The petals fluttered futilely
In search for each other.
But the hopelessly romantic winds,
Brought them together.
To rest forever in earthen beds

3.The annoyed love poem

It’s been seven days
Since you left me
And your audacity
Amuses and aggrieves me.
Doing the same things
we used to do together

You’re seeing someone else,
She’s seeing you,
and you are seeing her.
you are seeing each other.

And I saw you both yesterday,
From my window,
Letting water from the same rain,
And most likely, the same cloud
Soak through your clothes,
Trickling down naked hands.
How dare you get wet together?

And in church, on Sunday,
You put your offering
in the same basket,
Exercising such intimacy
A pair of uncultured heathens.

And it pains me to admit,
I can’t believe you-
Breathe the same oxygen,
Together, and in the same room.
I thought that was our thing.

Your audacity never ceases
To shock and amaze me.
Is there nothing we did,
That you hold sacred?

4. The silly love poem

Dearest lanlady,

It has come to our notice,
That you appear have slid
On yet another banana peel.
And fallen in love.

We just want to know,
If this one will be
another waste of time
Generations of butterflies
Have fluttered in your belly.
And died there with
No love to show for it.

And it’s not worth the stress
Of pupaeing and cocooning,
If you are going after,
Or rather standing still while
Thinking about…
Yet another unreachable man,

Caterpillar Union Of Your stomach.

5. The heartbreaking:

You played me like you play your violin
I danced ceaselessly
To the tune of your music.
Your melody soothed me.
Slowly, slowly, despacito.
And then, you spun me in circles
faster and faster until
Your music reached a crescendo,
And I came crashing down
Breaking into a million pieces
So now. here I lie broken, alone,
With nothing but the silence
And the blame that lies with us both.
You kept playing
And I kept dancing,
Even when we both knew
How easily I break.

6. And the genuine:

They say the best way,
to start your mornings
Is with meditation.
So I sit down, close my eyes,
And think of good things.

And I meditate on your smile,
That delicate chip on
the third tooth to the left
I want to focus,
On the graceful carelessness
of your posture, your beauty.
I’m dwelling,
On the baritone of your voice,
The cadence of your stunned laugh,
When I make a stupid joke.
The kindness behind your intelligence.
The fire in your eyes,

And my own eyes fly open.
As I realize I am in trouble,
Because I’ve completely lost guard.

You can check out more of Ravanjie’s content here

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *