continued from THE SIGNS
BELITTLING
In unhealthy love, words are used as weapons, and conversations that used to be friendly now become nasty and embarrassing.
To illustrate, maybe your partner cracks an expensive joke and it hurts and when you try to explain that your feelings have been hurt, they shut you down and accuse you of overreacting. Your partner should always have your back. Their words should bring you up not break you down. They should make you feel more confident not less.
UNPREDICTABILITY
Constant breakups and makeups, tears, frustration followed by emotional makeups, hateful and painful comments like “you’re worthless, I don’t know who pushed me into this” followed immediately by apologies and promises it’d never happen again. It is toxic, love should never be volatile.
HEALTHY LOVE
We all imagine and hope for healthy love, we all know what it looks like but most people don’t have any clue on how to get one and dismally, no one teaches how to do so.
Towards this end, I’ll take my time today and try explaining what a healthy relationship is and skills that will help develop one and avoid the unhealthy ones.
These skills are Perspicacity, Mutuality, and emotional coordination. These skills make up what I call romantic proficiency, the ability to function across all aspects of the relationship process.
PERSPICACITY
This simply means insight. Being aware, to understand and be willing to learn. With perspicacity, you have a better idea of who you are and what you need, it helps you find out the things you need to do.
To cite an instance, let’s say you’ve been edgy to your partner, with insight, you might notice or realize that your partner isn’t doing anything, it’s just that you have been stressed at work and what you need is to relax a bit. It doesn’t need to extend into your relationship.
Insight makes you a better person and makes you understand the positive and negative consequences of your actions. For example, you’d know if you send that nasty text, it isn’t gonna end well and well maybe you better make a phone call instead. You’ll learn from your mistakes in ways that allow you to act differently in the future.
And so, this is where the pen stops today. I hope you enjoyed reading. Till next time fellow humans.
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