When Four Go In But Three Come Out

What does it mean when four people enter a room but only three make it out? Yes, yes, you are right: a murder just occurred.

Sarah blinks like someone who has seen the dead arise even though Easter is still in three days. God knows what’s wrong with the girl.

If you ask her now what happened in that room where the four final year students had been reading, she might stare at you or she might smile. Or she might faint at your feet. The girl has always been odd, you know. That’s why she became friends with JJ, to begin with.

JJ—the quietest girl in class, not because she didn’t like talking but because she couldn’t. She lost her ability to speak after losing her mother in a car accident, a car accident she had been in as well. JJ became withdrawn after this accident and the only friendship she could make was with Sarah. Some would say Sarah was simply kind and relentless, I would say she was desperate, seeing as she never had any friends to begin with. JJ’s father had always held out hope that she would say something someday. But that wouldn’t be happening anytime now unless Jesus chooses to bring someone along with him on Monday.

JJ may be silent forever now but she had never needed words. She had had her eyes to scream and whisper and sigh for her. That girl’s eyes were something God must have spent a whole Saturday on. Probably the same Saturday He slapped some clay together and threw me down. I was quickly finished, roughly done. It is why no one ever takes notice of me.

We can’t ask Sarah anything, she’s shaken—as she always looks to be but shaken nonetheless.

“What about Timi?”, you might ask. He’s smiling. You see, I’m thinking I should have killed him instead. What? You didn’t count me? Even you? You didn’t see me as well? Didn’t think I was important? Hm. I’ll get back to you but first…


Timi is walking with the same swagger he has always had in his step—recent murder or not—, the same smile playing at the corner of his lips and even more composure than he has on a normal day. It is almost like he has taken whatever little strength Sarah should have and glued it to his spine to make his straighter and his chin to make it pointier.

When Timi started looking at JJ, I was amused. That quickly turned to irritation, you see. What did he see in the girl that he didn’t see in me for six years? Six years in this school, six years of studying this boy, eating his favorite things, feeding him without his knowing, positioning my script just right, attending all his games, trailing him on dates. Timi had always been like that, he was the kind of guy who didn’t believe in enemies, he expected to be liked and he was. So, when he started finding snacks in his bag, he simply ate them without question. I could have poisoned him just for his stupidity if I didn’t like him so much. Really, the boy is something of an idiot but that’s how I like him.

And? I really, really hate sharing. So, I was bothered and hot each time I saw JJ’s light brown eyes lingering in his direction, each time her eyes whispered sultry words to him, words that grated on my ears.

I tried to warn her so it wouldn’t come to this but there was Sarah to convince her that my warnings were nothing but a silly prank. Silly Sarah, many-things-but-not-smart Sarah, now sad and shaken Sarah.

I saw them hanging about in the hallways, Sarah gesturing wildly while JJ aggressively shined her beautiful eyes. After a few days, their gestures turned into laughter. Sarah even mimed some of the words I wrote on the note while JJ’s eyes shone with mirth. But what do the people say about she who laughs last?

I walk out of the room last; I look shaken, in tears. I would tell you how I did it but I trust no one. But take this from me: I did it and I enjoyed it. And? If I so much as glimpse anyone glancing at my lover—whether he’s aware of this relationship or not—I won’t hesitate to do it again.

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