A new study from McKaulyn University exposes a new reason women are such humourless, dry and boring shrews.
We’ve long known, about the presence of a phallus-shaped organ in the brain that enables males to have humour and intelligence, beyond what any female could conceive or dream of. Every man knows the highest compliment they can get from anyone is to be called a “dickhead.” As you very well know, it is scientifically proven that only a true dickhead has a genuine sense of humour.
But on May 11, 2021, scientists discovered a new part of the male organ which has been very originally nicknamed “the funny organ.” Women have not been found to possess this organ. And because comedy is completely objective and not at all dependent on the listener, this proves that women are anatomically incapable of making an actual joke. Ever.
Some women who have had some errors in their embryonic development have traces of this organ in their bodies.
It is suspected that Tiffany Hadish and Ali Wong possess this organ, which is why they can afford to make a few funny jokes here and there.
You might have cracked a misogynist or rape joke or two and wondered why the woman you are addressing does not laugh along with you. When you call your mum “your little bitch,” or you tell a girl who rejects your advances that you’ll hit her and she doesn’t laugh, now you know the reason. Women literally can’t be funny.
If a woman ever made a joke about feminism, toxic masculinity, or suffragettes and you didn’t find them funny, it’s not your fault. It’s not that you don’t know enough about the topic, or that you don’t have the intelligence or open-mindedness to get them. You know the reason now. Women can’t be funny.
As is illustrated in the picture above, this new part of the testis, originally thought to be an outgrowth of the epididymis, has been irrefutably linked to funniness in males. Scientists have unanimously named this “the clownis sphera.” Some are born naturally big, but exercise and exposure to humour may enlarge it almost to the size of the testes themselves. So the major question you should ask any aspiring comedian is, “Do you have the balls for comedy?”
Now of course, there’s no accounting for anatomical variations. Few men lack this vital organ, and some possess a bigger clownis sphera than others. As you might very well know, size does matter. The bigger your clownis sphera, the larger your sense of humour.
Personally, I am a female and lack the organs or brain cells to understand humour or sarcasm. You will have to forgive me for this article being so serious and so boring. It’s in my woman condition to be a worthless, boring lass. I have never made a single joke in my life. And I’m not about to start now.
Author’s note: We’re currently working on humour-enlargement creams and teas to give deficient males a better sense of humour. You may send an email to me at email@example.com. The starting price would be fifty dollars per milligram. When I get an email from you, I’ll know you really need help.